Ten Prepper Resolutions For The New Year

At the start of the New Year, I have taken the time to evaluate my life and, especially, my readiness for the worst. I realized that there are some things that I need to worry about and work on over the coming year. I sat down immediately and made a list of ten resolutions. Here they are:

1. I will increase my store of toilet paper this year by 20%. When SHTF, I want to be good and ready for it.
2. I will learn how to perform basic surgery out in the field by reading the Emergency War Surgery Handbook from cover to cover as many times as I can throughout the year.
3. I will watch every single episode of “Man v.s. Wild” so that I can learn survival skills like drinking my own pee and eating bear poo.
4. I will practice evasive driving maneuvers on my ATV at least once a week. I need to be prepared just in case I’m chased while I’m trying to bug-out.
5. I will stock up on more MREs to replace the ones I sent the kids to school with last year, when I was running too late to pack them a lunch.
6. I will successfully grow a garden this year and actually eat the vegetables instead of the rabbits eating them first.
7. I will work on my shooting and snaring skills so that I can protect garden from rabbits and other freeloaders.
8. I will complete and finish out the fall-out shelter in my backyard that I started five years ago. It looks like nuclear war is still on the TEOTWAWKI top ten list.
9. I will buy more batteries because I only have 500 9-volts, 350 D's, 750 A's, 1,500 AA's, and 3,500 AAA's right now.
10. I will go online and learn how to build a still so that I can make ethyl alcohol. It will be useful for a variety of uses when SHTF happens. NOTE TO SELF: Need to add more corn rows to my garden.